It’s Ok.

I’ve written 4 possible posts for today so far (well one was written in my head but it counts.) And I can’t seem to get my thoughts together to form a flowing cohesiveness. It’s just not happening. But here’s the gist of it all…it’s ok if you don’t use your voice all the time, if you’re tired. It’s ok if you need a break, if you need distance. It’s ok to let yourself just breathe. It’s ok if keeping up to date on everything that’s happening is too overwhelming so you don’t read as much. It’s ok to give yourself the love and care you need to help you be in a better mental place. You don’t need to justify or apologize for self-care. To anyone. It’s ok if you are only now coming to realizations you probably should have years ago. It’s ok to give yourself time and grace and value. It’s ok.

Cheers,
Olivia xo

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Mindful

I’ll be sitting here
on the park bench
till you’re ready to find me
come hold my hand
don’t feel much like talking
would rather just sit
watch how the wind
sends ripples through the tall grass
admire the way the sunlight
sparkles on the waters
I’d like to forget
all the things going on
all the constant, nagging thoughts
and the dark matter getting thrown
in my face
I think it’s best
to be quiet
sit in awe of nature
even just for awhile
appreciate the beauty
we all take for granted
the silence
the fresh air
I would really like it
if you came over
and you could join me
while I try to think
of nothing
but I understand
if you’d rather not
I won’t be mad
I’ll respect your decision
just thought it’d be nice
to have someone to share
my silence with

.olivia.irene.

Music & Lyrics

New music appreciation blog post series.

Welcome to my first Music & Lyrics post. This is where I’ll be sharing a song that is speaking to me at the moment, or has had an impact on me in the past. Basically music appreciation and wonder at how other people have somehow glimpsed into your brain. Here I’ll share the lyrics as well and italicize some that have specifically stood out to me. I hope you enjoy!

Cheers xo

Why did you leave me here to burn?
I’m way too young to be this hurt
I feel doomed in hotel rooms
Staring straight up at the wall
Counting wounds and I am tryin’ to numb them all

Do you care, do you care?
Why don’t you care?
I gave you all of me
My blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears
Why don’t you care, why don’t you care?
I was there, I was there, when no one was
Now you’re gone and I’m here

I have questions for you
Number one, tell me who you think you are?
You’ve got some nerve tryin’ to tear my faith apart
(I have questions for you)
Number two, why would you try and play me for a fool?
I should have never, ever, ever trusted you
(I have questions)
Number three, why weren’t you, who you swore that you would be?
I have questions, I’ve got questions haunting me
I have questions for you
I have questions for you (I have questions)
I have questions for you

My, my name was safest in your mouth
And why’d you have to go and spit it out?
Oh, your voice, it was the most familiar sound
But it sounds so dangerous to me now

I have questions for you
Number one, tell me who you think you are?
You’ve got some nerve tryin’ to tear my faith apart
(I have questions for you)
Number two, why would you try and play me for a fool?
I should have never, ever, ever trusted you
I have questions for you
I have questions for you
I have questions for you (I have questions)
I have questions for you

Do you care, do you care?
Why don’t you care?
I gave you all of me
My blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears
Why don’t you care, why don’t you care?
I was there, I was there, when no one was
Now you’re gone and I’m here

I have questions for you, ooh
I have questions for you
I have questions for you (I have questions)
I have questions for you (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I have questions for you, ooh
I have questions for you (fair play, no, fair play, no)
I have questions for you (I have questions)
I have questions for you
I have questions for you

How do I fix it? Can we talk? Can we communicate? Can we talk? Do I wanna fix it?
I have questions for you (I’m afraid of you)
Is it my fault? Is it my fault? Do you miss me?
I have questions

To Manchester With Love 

As I’m sure all of you know, there was a terrorist attack in Manchester, UK following an Ariana Grande concert. There were at least 22 killed from it and around 59 injured. This is heartbreaking to say the least.

I just wanted to say a couple things. The first being that this terrorist act was on a female singer whose majority of fans are also female, a lot of them young. I think this is a fact not lost on a lot of us. It makes me sick to think about how all these young people were deliberately attacked. My heart is aching for the families and friends who are all affected by this and the city of Manchester as a whole. All the people who went who survived this attack are now scarred, and no doubt some of them are experiencing survivor’s guilt. Which brings me to talk about Ariana. Putting myself in her shoes, I know I would blame myself. Even though rationally I would know that the blame lies elsewhere. I’m guessing this is exactly how she’s feeling right now; responsible. To have something that is meant to be so enjoyable as a concert get completely destroyed in a hateful attack is devastating for all involved. I can only imagine the emotional toll it must be having on her, the fact that all those people were gathered there to see her and then this happened.

It’s times like these where I wish I could do something to help, but I don’t know what that would be. I can say my heart and thoughts are with them because that’s true, I just don’t know what good that does. I suppose showing solidarity and support even if it’s nothing tangible is a good start, so that’s what I’ll do. I’m so sorry that this happened. I’m so sorry that attacks like this happen much too often, and I know there are ones that we don’t hear about because they happen in countries that the media doesn’t seem to care as much about. I’m sorry for the state of the world right now. I wish there was more I could say or do. Something that could make things better. But for right now what I can do is continue to send my love and thoughts out and hope the people of Manchester and all those affected can feel it at least a little.

Love to all xo

What is Gory Fragments?

    Gory Fragments is a poetry series I’ve been working on for quite a while now. I’ve wanted to share some of my poetry for a really long time but have been too scared and self-conscious to do so. This series takes, as the title says, fragmentations of longer poems I’ve written and uses them as stand alone pieces (I’ve revised some of them so they work better alone). This allows me to share a little at a time and hopefully work up to sharing the full length poems in the near future. I like the idea of having just a few lines as a poem because sometimes that’s all you need to communicate or connect with someone.
     I had considered releasing these poems under a pseudonym because of fear. Fears like not being good enough, rejection, and the fear of people thinking they know me. That last one is a big one for me, but I’m working on accepting the fact that I can’t control how others perceive me and I no longer want that to be something that causes me anxiety. I want to share this series under my own name because I want to own my story, experiences, feelings, and creative expression as a way to grow and continue practicing authenticity.
     The name Gory Fragments was inspired by the poem from the film Like Crazy, that Felicity Jones’ character writes. It’s one of my favorite films, which also stars Anton Yelchin (Rest In Peace). In the poem one of the lines reads “the gory bits of you and the gory bits of me”. That line just really stuck with me. Here is the poem from the film in full –

I thought I understood it,
that I could grasp it.
But I didn’t,
not really.
Only the smudgeness of it;
the pink-slippered,
all-containered, semi-precious
eagerness of it.
I didn’t realize it would
sometimes be more than whole,
that the wholeness was a rather
luxurious idea.
Because it’s the halves that
halve you in half.
I didn’t know, don’t know,
about the in-between bits;
the gory bits of you
and the gory bits of me.

-Like Crazy

Ultimately I wrote these for myself as a way of release and expression. That being said I hope that in sharing these poems at least one person reads something that strikes a chord with them, or makes them feel slightly less alone in their feelings.

Cheers xo

World Poetry Day

Celebrate World Poetry Day!

“Poetry reaffirms our common humanity by revealing to us that individuals, everywhere in the world, share the same questions and feelings. Poetry is the mainstay of oral tradition and, over centuries, can communicate the innermost values of diverse cultures.

In celebrating World Poetry Day, March 21, UNESCO recognizes the unique ability of poetry to capture the creative spirit of the human mind.

decision to proclaim 21 March as World Poetry Day was adopted during UNESCO’s 30th session held in Paris in 1999.

One of the main objectives of the Day is to support linguistic diversity through poetic expression and to offer endangered languages the opportunity to be heard within their communities.

The observance of World Poetry Day is also meant to encourage a return to the oral tradition of poetry recitals, to promote the teaching of poetry, to restore a dialogue between poetry and the other arts such as theatre, dance, music and painting, and to support small publishers and create an attractive image of poetry in the media, so that the art of poetry will no longer be considered an outdated form of art, but one which enables society as a whole to regain and assert its identity.” UN World Poetry Day

 

Happy World Poetry Day! I’m going to share some of my favorite poems, and some from the new poetry books I got, today and for the rest of the week. If you have favorites let me know or if you know of any cool poetry videos comment and I’ll share them as well! Will be sharing at least one more of my Gory Fragments this week too. Hope you all go out and read some poems today!

 

Cheers xo